This time, in 2 weeks, I will probably be either in NY or NJ. It makes me sad to think I'll be leaving such an amazing city (Montreal) and an even more amazing city a few days later (NYC). However, I am feeling very 'zen'ned about it.
1. Montreal's not going anywhere. It will be here when I'm ready for it.
2. Its so easy to keep in contact with friends around the world now. I hope and also think its very likely I will see all these amazing people I've met here sometime soon!
3. I can't have it both ways:
- I can't have one more weekend in Montreal AND spend some time in NY
- I can't stay in this amazing part of the world AND see my family and friends
- I can't stay in North America AND work. At the moment. And I want to work.
4. Whatever I'm worried about loosing and missing, if I loose it or miss it, it means I wasn't meant to have it. Simple.
5. You're supposed to feel bad leaving a place. If I felt nothing, this whole trip would have been a waste of time and money.
6. I was lucky enough to have this experience. I worked hard for it and deserved every bit. I feel I've aged a year to every month I've been away (in a good way, not in the 'making business for Olay way), and am a better person for it. I have more direction in my life right now and it seems everything is going in the right direction.
7. I feel I am in the eye of a hurricane of inspiration, direction and opportunity. It is not for me to wonder where it will spit me out. As long as I'm happy, it's where I'm meant to be.
And I'll stop there. 7 is a good number.
In less philosophical news, I am amazed by this weather. My face did feel rather cold when I stumbled into my appartment today, but I love this weather. Its still above zero and snowing a bit everyday. It feels like its below zero due to montreal's crazy windchill. I never really check the real temperature, it means nothing that it's +2 when the 'RealFeel' is -10. You need to dress for -10 if that is the case. And I love snow. My Belgian friend was making fun of me today because I was practically skipping through the streets when the tiniest sprinkle of snow started. The other day was the best though... huge white flakes that accumulated a few centimeters. Didn't last long but was amazing. I feel so alive when it starts to snow, as corny as that sounds. Doesn't matter how cold it is, or how tiered I am, I am a happy happy girl!!! We'll see how I feel later on - perhaps after a few weeks of heavy snow, I'll feel very differently.
Today, I bought myself a new moleskine diary for 2010. I painted the world map inside and painting always makes me feel productive. So instead of watching another crime show in TV, I got off my ass, wrote a pressing email to my professor, now I'm going to finish this entry and go back to my nice, warm bed and chew my way through a bit more of my study.
x a.
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