No, don't make me go!

I'm packing right now, and I'm a mess. I'm crying so much. I don't want to go. I've never wanted to stay somewhere so badly as I want to stay here. If I could have it my way, I'd go back to August 12th and do the whole thing again. Everything. Every essay. Sit every exam again. Cry myself to sleep at the low points all over again. Get lost on the metro and subway again, almost expire from the heatwave in NY and DC and the insane cold in Montreal. Fall down drunk all those times again. Get every cut, bruise, burn and general owie again. Go through every health scare again. I'd do it all again. I want to fly into NY for the first time again, and like all those months ago, see the city and think 'Wow! this is my place in the world'. I've never felt so at home in a foreign country. Scatch that, I've never felt so at home period, as I have in the last 5 months. And as amazing as Europe may be, I wish I was coming back here, for good.